Work Diaries (23) : Damn Reservations!
In my case, reservations have never served the purpose they’re meant to serve, and instead of simplifying things, they always complicated everything for me.
I really don’t know whether it’s coincidence, bad luck or what exactly that succeeds in making me suffer from restaurant reservations.
Anyway, here are some examples of my reservation nightmares…
1. I would like to make a reservation, PLEASE!
Eman: Hi, I would like to make a reservation for 5 people at 1:00 p.m.
Waiter: Ok, under what name?
Waiter: How many people?
Waiter: Done, 5 people under (….) for dinner
Eman: no, lunch, today at 1 p.m.
Waiter: Ok. Today, 1 p.m. (…), 2 people! Bye
(He hung up, I redial)
Eman: Hi, I just called concerning today’s reservation.
Waiter: Under what name?
Waiter: how many people?
Eman: I just called a minute ago, today (….) 1 p.m., FIVE people!
Waiter: Ah, remembered you, didn’t you say 2?
Eman: that’s why I’m calling again. It’s 5.
Waiter: ifff, ok, 5.
At 1 p.m. my boss calls:
Boss: Eman, there is no reservation for us! Did you forget?
Eman: that’s impossible, put the waiter on.
Waiter: I have absolutely no idea about a reservation for them.
Eman: but I called this morning and everything was confirmed!! How come!
Waiter: sorry but we exchange shifts, so morning shifts are different than noon!
Eman: WHAT!! And why are reservations made for?
Waiter: so that you call and make a resrvation!
Eman: This is what I DID!
Waiter: you called in the wrong time!
(And my boss ended up hating me for the embarrassing situation and went on looking for another restaurant!)
2. Later please…
Eman: Hi, I’m calling to make a reservation.
Waiter: ok, let me take your details.
Eman: Reservation for (….), 3 people,…
Waiter: Wait a sec I don’t have a pen.
Eman: Ok, I’ll wait for you to get one.
Waiter: there are no pens on my desk.
Eman: ok I’ll hold till you go get one.
Waiter: I’m not going to look for A pen, just call later.
(and he HUNG UP)
3. No Answer…
Eman: Hi, I’d like to make a reservation please.
Eman: Hello?! Can you hear me?
Waiter: yes, I can.
Eman: great, are there available places for dinner?
Waiter: YES WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING!
Eman: Coz I want to make a damn reservation.
Waiter: …(silent again)
Eman: This is so unbelievable, would you put on someone I can talk to?
...Toot, toot, toot, toot...
(obviously, he hung up)
4. Not in the mood…
Eman: Hi, I’d like to make a reservation.
Waiter: do you know what time it is?
Eman: 11 a.m.
Waiter: why the hell are you calling that early?
Waiter: ring me back again in 2 hours, what are you people, don’t you have manners?!
(and… he hung up)
Eman: can I make a reservation for 2 tonight?
Waiter: What? Can you speak louder?
Eman: (in a louder tone) I would like to make a reservation for 2!
Waiter: WHAT?! I can’t hear you! LOUDER!
Eman: (in a “louderer” ;P tone)……….
Waiter: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME!!
(and he HUNG UP)
6. I give up…
Eman: Hi, are there available places for today’s lunch.
Waiter: Sure. How many people?
Waiter: contact number please
Waiter: what’s the name?
Waiter: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NAME?
Eman: It’s a foreign name, our company name. I’ll spell it for you, ok!
Waiter: yes please, do me a favor.
Eman: … (I spell the name, which is a bit long, I admit)
Waiter: What the hell? Forget about it, it’s too complicated and I can’t even pronounce it, look for another place you and your complicated company!
And he… ??
Yep, he hung up…