Friday, March 18, 2005

Work Diaries(19): one stupid a day, blows your mind away!

8:30 a.m.
The bell rings, I open the door, it’s the building door keeper.
He: there’s a mail package for you, it’s been lying downstairs since last week. I thought I’d finally bring it to you if you’re ignoring it.
I: sorry, but you know I never ignore our mail. Anyway, maybe I didn’t notice it for one reason or the other.
(I look at the address and it’s not for our company)
I: ah, na, it’s not ours, it says another address, one floor higher ;)

He leaves…

9:30 a.m.
Bell rings again, from my security cam I saw the same guy holding the same package.
He: I went upstairs they said the address was wrong, they don’t have a lady with that name so I got back to you.
I: well, maybe it’s not theirs, but it’s definitely not ours. I’m so sorry.

He leaves…

10:00 a.m.
Ding, Dong…
I: I swear to God it’s not ours, just ask the ones of the address written on the package to contact the mail office and return it.
He: The woman upstairs said she contacted the post office, the postman told her it belongs to the lady with blue eyes… you.
I: Mr. I don’t know what’s your problem, but it’s not mine.
I call the woman upstairs and explain that she should simply return the package.

She: but I called them and the postman said it was for the lady with blue eyes.
I: well, it’s not for me, I can assure you that, and my eyes aren’t blue by the way, they’re green. Just return them to the post office.

11:30 a.m.
Ding, Dong…The doorkeeper AGAIN!
He: the woman upstairs contacted the post office again and they told her it was for the lady on the 4th floor with blue eyes, always wears a hat, and wears glasses! Which is you.
I: would you please FOCUS!! Which floor are we in now?
He: Third
I:Do I wear a hat?
HE: No.
I:am I wearing glasses?
He: Nope.
I: and my eyes are?
He: green.
I: What does that tell you?
(after a while of thinking)
He: it's YOU!
I: please leave before I kill myself...

And he leaves...

12:00 p.m.
Ding, Dong…AGAIN, the doorkeeper.
I: what now?
He: the postman said the lady’s name was Nedia.
I: great, my name isn’t Nedia, it’s Eman. Now would you please leave me in peace? I really have work to do.

12:15 p.m.
Ding, Dong…I saw him and chose to ignore the ringing.
He leaves….

15:00 p.m.
Ding, Dong…Yeah, him again.
I: listen good man, I know you need to deliver this, but I swear to God it isn’t MINE!!! So please return it to the post office and stop wasting both our times!
He: It’s yours.
I: it isn’t.
He: it is.
He: it is.
I: ok enough with the crap, if you don’t leave me alone I swear to God I’ll let you regret the minute you knocked at my door, OKAY!
He: but it’s yours.
I: don’t let me close the door in your face, just leave with dignity.
He leaves…. Only to come few minutes later, look at the security cam and start teasing me by saying: the package is yours, the package is yours, making some really stupid faces!! And he simply sits on the stairs opposite to the cam!

I have to admit that I tried my best to ignore his damn face on my cam, but couldn’t! So to end this pathetic situation I decided to call the post office myself and ask the postman to come to my office.
When he saw me he apologized and said it really wasn’t for me, it is for a lady on the address written on the package. I take him upstairs, after a bit of thinking it turns out, the postman is in love with a lady who told him she was a secretary in the 4th floor, when in fact she’s nothing but a cleaning lady who wears blue contacts on her dates. She gives her boyfriends the office address counting on the fact that she’s the first to arrive and collect the mail! Only she’s been sick for 2 weeks and therefore was absent and couldn’t get her package from her boyfriend on time!
They all apologize for the “inconvenience” they caused me, all, except for the doorkeeper who came half an hour later with a box of CD’s with the address of the office next door so damn clear written over it and said: this time the package is obviously yours, so go ahead and sign that the package was delivered to you personally!

I thought to myself: “if you weren’t that stupid, I would’ve really explained to you how stupid you are”….