Friday, November 26, 2004

Work Diaries ( 13):The accountant & I

Since our company is a branch of an international company, every month I have to do 4 different types of financial reports to be sent to the mother company. As for the local issues like tax control for example, we hired a professional accountant who comes twice a month. He was so busy this month, so he decided to make the biggest mistake of his life: sending his assistant!
At 11:00…
Acc.: Hey, Eman, there is something I want to ask you about.It’s a really complicated matter, it needs another hot cup of coffee to be really awake and find a solution. Can I have some more coffee?
I: Sure. (I bring her coffee) Here you go your coffee. So what is it?
Acc.: You see, this bank statement shows that the amount 1500 TND was withdrawn for some equipment maintenance, but in your office financial report, I can see only 1000 Dinars has to be withdrawn... Hmm, I like your coffee… Can you please explain! (giving me a wise look)
I: Well, there are 2 invoices for the same maintenance company, one is dated Oct.25th, with the amount of 1000 TND and the other is dated Oct.26th, with 500 TND. (I turn on the file documents to the following invoice), aha, here’s the Oct.26th invoice. We decided to give them one cheque instead of two, that’s the whole thing.
Acc.: I really really like your coffee… Why does it say Oct.29th on the bank statement?
I: Obviously the company withdrew the amount on the 29th.
Acc.: why’s that?
I: How would I know, maybe it was their only free time. And what difference does it make anyway?
Acc.: It makes a difference!Now I’m confused. When should I register the payment? On the 25th, or 26th, or 29th?
I: Whenever you want, the point is, you should register the whole amount in October that’s all.
Acc.: Ah, I’m all mixed up. What should I do?
I: What’s the big deal, just REGISTER IT!
Acc.: But they are 2 payments in one cheque!
I: SO WHAT! Just register the amount! If you like, make a note beside it explaining that this amount is for 2 invoices for the same company.
Acc.: No no, that wont do. I have to think really well, can I have some more coffee please? (I bring her MORE coffee)
Acc.: You know, I don’t feel like working, let’s gossip for a while. You see, I have problems with my boss, he gives me so much work…
I: Excuse me, I don’t think that’s possible, we both have work to do and we both need to meet our deadlines. I’d love to chat with you in our lunch break though.
Acc.: OKAY! But what should I do about the cheque problem!
I: There’s no problem. You know what, why don’t you consult your boss!
Acc.: Yeah, great idea.
(after making more than 4 personal calls, she finally decided to call her Boss) Eman, my boss wants to talk to you on the phone.
(I take the call from my desk, after explaining,he thought her call is ridiculous.) Register it on the date you choose, he said there’s no problem as long as it’s registered in October.
Acc.: How can I do that? No I can’t, this is not right, this is so wrong.
I: I told you there should be no problem, and your boss did the same, so why the hell are you making a big fuss out of nothing! I HAVE WORK TO DO, PLEASE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!
Acc.: I don’t know what I want, you must help me!
I: I just did, you wont listen.
Acc.: Coz I don’t like your solution.I’ll figure it out myself.
Acc.: I want more of your coffee, it’s delicious.
I: I swear to God I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS TO DO! Go to the kitchenette and get your coffee yourself.
After 5 minutes…
Acc.: My coffee didn’t taste like yours, can you please make me some coffee yourself!
(I go make her MORE coffee, can’t be rude, after all, she’s not here everyday)
4 hours later…
I: so how is everything going?
Acc.: not good, nothing’s right. I’m so confused, so upset. Don’t know what to do with this maintenance company payment.
I: (trying to control my temper)You’ve been in this office for a WHOLE DAY, you have a folder full of documents for a WHOLE MONTH, and you insist on stopping at this ONE DOCUMENT!
Acc.: I’ll have to think more, so I’ll come back tomorrow and we’ll work it out together.
I: I really did my best to help you, I have nothing else to offer. So do whatever you like, but leave me out of it.
Acc.: Oh, still 30 minutes for you to go, what about another cup of coffee!