Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Bitter Taste Of Joy...

We’ve just returned from the airport after saying bye to my older brother Mohammad.
Last Saturday, October 9th , my brother paid us a really quick visit. He called us few days earlier to ask us whether it was ok with us if he dropped for a 3 - 4 day visit on his way from Canada to Jordan. It was totally unexpected, we were thrilled. I haven’t seen him for over a year, and my husband hasn’t seen him for over 2 years. And the fact that he was coming a couple of days after his phone call was so overwhelming. I have been asking him to drop by ever since I came to Tunisia, but it never worked out. This time, it did, thank God for that.
To be honest, I really don’t know if I’m truly happy or not. Meeting him, talking to him about his life, about my sister in Canada and her family, remembering the old days, hanging out together, showing him my second country Tunisia…it was out of this world. I was really happy. But before I even knew it, he was off to Amman again. It’s such an annoying feeling you get when you start realizing that one of your dear wishes is coming true and before you actually taste the joy of it, you have to cope with the fact that it’s no longer there and you need to make a whole new wish and wait till it comes true…
I still need more time to talk to him, to listen to what he’s got to say, to be with him, and to reach a level in which I can really say: I met my bro, I spent time with him!
Now I miss him even more than I used to miss him before he came; just like I miss my whole family more with every passing day. I always think: time takes care of things like love and missing. But life is proving me wrong. The special spots in your heart, the dear pictures in your memory, and the delicious smells in your nose, they can never be replaced, they can never be deleted. They can get weaker, only if we let go. But they will get stronger, as long as they’re alive deep inside our hearts.
Yet life also taught me to be thankful for everything and appreciate even those few moments I get to hear a voice I miss, or see a face I love…
Thank you God!