Monday, March 08, 2004

Age- Gap Marriages

We see more and more couples presenting a very big age-gap that makes us wonder about the reasons behind this.
Why do young ladies get married to men in the age of their fathers or even grandfathers? Why do young men choose very old women who can barely walk to be their sweethearts?
Thinking deeply in it we’ll find so many different answers which can be expressed in four terms: Greed, Need, Completion, and Love.
In most of the cases young people choose to marry people more than 20 years older than them for the sake of their money. They want to have as much money as they can in the easiest way possible, therefore they look for rich partners who might die any minute leaving them a fortune behind. But in many of these cases the old partner lives and the younger dies earlier, or escapes after not being able to tolerate living with the older partner.
In other cases, poor people need the money of the old person who came to propose, and whether a girl or a boy, the younger party accepts to be rescued from poverty and its misery, and maybe even to offer help for the rest of their family members. On the other hand need isn’t only for money, some old people truly need younger partners to help them live what’s left for them to live in peace, just like there are young people who need to be taken care of and be spoiled by the older partner. Which leads us to completion, as there are old people who look for young attractive partners to complete their collection of rare beauty. Just like there are some young people who wish to have a grandpa or a grandma sharing them their lives to complete; their lives which lacked the presence of family and old members. And last but not least, a lot of people of different ages are joined together by nothing more than love and affection, which I believe is rare, but does definitely exist.
So if for an interest, or for love, many couples with a very big age-gap do exist among us. Not only normal people we know or we don’t know, but even famous people like actors and politicians.
And regardless of the reason we should always wish that such marriages will be based on love even if it started out as a financial shelter. We can’t blame the old who are asking for the right of having a younger partner to revive the hope in themselves. Neither can we blame the young who are hopeless and have no other choice. But we can blame the ones who sacrifice their lives just to win some more money making the older partner feel lied to and taken advantage of in the worst way ever. Also we can blame the old ones who have their partners and children that take care of them but still want to use their money in buying other younger spirits instead.
We can always cheer up the sad ones and tell them that there is always a light in the end of the tunnel, and no matter how long your tunnel is, you’ll finally see the light if you worked a bit harder. So if you know you wont be happy with a certain person, don’t marry that person for any reason and work harder to fulfill your wishes in some other ways. Never accept a certain marriage if you wont be a good loyal wife or husband, because once you’ve accepted you should take your responsibility.
Therefore, there is no right for the old to hurt the young, nor for the young to deceive the old. Marriage is a sacred relationship based on acceptance, understanding, respect and love. It’s a responsibility and not a game nor a lottery ticket.